Christine the Lioness (3124)
Christopher the Pyro (1991)
ProphetJoe the Irreverent (1291)
Trouble the Pirate (604)
Keith the Director (573)
Mara the Peacemaker (535)
eric the Lil' Devil (352)
AJ the Zen Master (305)
Ben the Kingpin (214)
Haas the Addict (187)
Christine 2 the Mercenary (131) Lei the Mercenary (124) Katie the Mercenary (115)
SypeFurry the Soldier (57) Christopher the Pyro spake, and sayeth
She spent most of the game giving me this commentary in person.. and banging these two noise sticks together.. but on the occassions where she was excited and jumping up and down it made the game even better. I have to say.. she picked up soccer pretty fast.. atho I think the offside rule confused her the first time I explained it.. because halfway through the second half she was bent when they called off sides.. saying “What… I don’t understand why they called that offsides.. I mean he was already behind the last defender!!” I stopped.. thought for a second.. trying to process what she said.. (she said it so passionately I almost believed that she hadn’t just described the exact rule and why it was wrong..)… ok nevermind.. trying to describe offsides in soccer is hard enough with a field and players.. let alone over a blog.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent got all philosophical
You crack me up, woman!
I would add several points myself:
1) for ‘tine’s sake, let’s change the name of the penalty box to the trespassing box.
2) let’s play on only real grass and REALLY soak the field so that players are falling everywhere and their uniforms are really muddy and look as if they’re been playing a real game.
3) let’s play a joke on the entire world and call a real game football too, then we’ll change the name of their game whenever they come here to play… yeah, that’s an idea!
4) let’s allow vicious kicking to the testicular region of ANY opposing player — this will completely nullify the immunity that Beckham needs in order to be something more than just a marketing joke.
Long live Pele, the first and ONLY soccer god!
Christine the Lioness chimed in with
LOL!
Okay… to address Christopher first… yes, the offsides rule took me a few minutes. It went like this in the game…
Me: Why’d they just call a foul?
Christopher: Number 18 was offsides. (off my confused look) Remember what I said… the last guy can’t be further back than those other two defenders…
Me: But what if he’s already back there?
Christopher’s turn to give a confused look.
Christopher: That’s the point. He can’t ALREADY be back there…
Me: Oh. (under my breath) Lame.
And to address PJ:
1. I still like the “key” better… it makes more sense because getting the ball to that position is instrumental to winning… or… “key”
2. I was wondering why they watered the field before the game. It seemed like they should’ve had time to do that earlier in the day…
3. Eventually, the world will accept it’s soccer and “real football” is football… but Rome wasn’t built in a day…
4. I could never condone being kicked in the nuts… these guys have girlfriends and wives to keep satisfied… and did I just hear you suggest Beckham may not be the end all be all of soccer??? He’s about much more than marketing… he’s about welcoming people from other countries to our homeland and supporting their success. He’s about promoting a sport that isn’t that popular in L.A…. he’s about proving that male athletes can also be models… it’s very complex.
ProphetJoe the Irreverent stated
He’s about much more than marketing…
No, he’s not. He was at one time, but (sadly) that time has passed.
he’s about welcoming people from other countries to our homeland and supporting their success.
So he’s part of the illegal immigration strategy put forth by the leftist…
He’s about promoting a sport that isn’t that popular in L.A….
Sports aren’t popular in LA — money, power and being beautiful are the “sports” of LA. The Lakers are the only (pro) team you guys have supported out there in the last 30 years and that was mostly due to the sex and $$$ involved with the team. Let’s face it — Jabbar and Shaq were both “actors” and Magic and Kobe are both horn-dogs….
he’s about proving that male athletes can also be models…
I thought Jim Palmer did that 25-35 years ago…
it’s very complex.
ONLY because it’s in southern Californication…
ProphetJoe the Irreverent said this
Christine: Jim Palmer was a Hall of Fame pitcher back in the day. Here’s a link to his ad which was mildly scandalous at the time:
Of course, he paved the way for Michael Jordan to come along and do the Haines commercials…
Trouble the Pirate said this
Christine jumping up and down makes anything better… (|) 
However, ‘the key’ on a basketball court is not so-called “because getting the ball to that position is instrumental to winning… or… “key””, it gained the moniker due to its original shape ()== when the lane was only 6 ft. wide, as opposed to its current 12 feet… Also, it’s called a penalty box because… well, it’s a box within which, if you are fouled, you are awarded a penalty kick… Just so we’re clear.
Also, considering that Americans have only invented a few sports, like Lacrosse [Native Americans], Basketball [also Native American] and Ultimate Frisbee [Californian settlers], they are far from being qualified to discuss matters of such importance.
Football […or as you guys call it ’soccer’ …which makes way more sense ’cause you kick the ‘er’ with your ’socc’, and not the ‘ball’ with your ‘foot’ as we rest of the world always thought] was invented by the Chinese military. Baseball is British and began its illustrius following as a schoolgirls’ game called ‘Rounders’… And hockey’s bloody history began when two figure-skating Canadians began a brawl with sticks over who’d get the last can of Skoal…
The advertising wet-dream you guys call football came about because too many of you were getting injured playing Rugby back in the ’20’s, and were too out-of-shape to run more than 30 feet without stopping for breath…
There’s a reason why players from all over the world are invited to come and play in the US…
Trouble the Pirate quibbed this
And before you guys go getting defensive, consider the following:
Any person, group of persons, or nation claiming to have ‘invented’ any of the modern sports or games which humans play is labouring under a misapprehension. All modern games have evolved over time from an original concept as is their custom.
The modern facsimile can closely resemble or be very far removed from its parent, or parents. The ‘invention’ of the ball, in its myriad of forms fuelled many different games, either used on its own, struck or propelled using various body-parts, or paired with a striking-stick of varying size and shape, as well as the use of various goals and rules, which change over time and from reigion-to-reigion.
The US claiming to have invented football, would be like the Italians claiming to have invented Spagetti… Completely disregarding the fact that the Chinese made rice or wheat based noodles millenia prior.
It would then follow that Ketchup was ‘invented’ by Heinz… Though the same Chinese made a sauce from fermented tomatoes and Herring that was very similar in taste and texture.
I’m not saying that any particular group has not done much to elaborate, perfect, or at least modify any particular sport to enhance its popularity or ease its acceptance by the rest of the world, but to claim sole responsibility is reckless at best.
Trouble the Pirate up'n wrote this
And yeah, I am 1/4 Chinese… 
Trouble the Pirate thought this
And 3/4 Pirate… And also very opposed to PJ’s suggestion of ‘nut-kicking’… 
ProphetJoe the Irreverent asserted
I think it would make an excellent spectator sport!
I admit it’s sort of like ancient Romans watching events at the Coliseum in Rome — great if you’re the lion, but not so great if you’re the Christian…
Seriously, though, if we started kicking all of these soccer players in their nut-bags, eventually they’d give up on this farcical endeavor!
Chaim the Groupie penned this
I’m glad to read about some fellow Americans enjoying Soccer. I love it, but it seems to have trouble catching on here.
To ProphetJoe: As someone from Los Angeles, I’d just like to defend the city a little bit as far as sports go. Although the city has never been very friendly to Football, the Lakers aren’t the only team to do well there. The Dodgers always place in the top 3 in attendance in the Major Leagues every year, and the Angels are climbing in the ranks. Both of them have two of the highest payrolls in baseball, which is a good barometer for the success of the team.
Christine the Lioness spake, and sayeth
That is true about baseball, but quite frankly… Dodgers fans aren’t the same as say… Red Sox fans or Yankees fans. They don’t have that same passion for the sport and the team. L.A. is sort of an anomaly though… it’s such a unique city with so many different focuses and so many people who aren’t originally from here, that it doesn’t have the tradition aspect that many other cities with sports teams do.
Christopher the Pyro penned this
LA is a weird, nobody stays here long enough to care, seriously the turn over is ridiculous however, I think that if we got a football franchise it would catch on after awhile.. maybe 5-10 years.. USC & UCLA football are popular… so it’s kind of hte same difference.. (of course an NFL team doesn’t have the benefit of a university brainwashing teenagers into being fans.. but hey… )
As for soccer.. I have to say.. Everybody but Beck and Landon on that team pretty much sucks.. it’s ridiculous how bad they were.. especially #18
Chaim the Groupie up'n wrote this
After living in New York for a few years, I’d like to say that the top of the food chain in terms of baseball fans is definitely held by Cubs fans and Red Sox fans. There isn’t much difference between Yankees fans and Dodgers fans except that Yanks fans tend to be bigger assholes….
I don’t think Los Angeles is capable of producing the kind of fan-base that the old cities you describe are. Nothing terribly wrong with it, I guess. It just is what it is.
Christine the Lioness said this
Los Angeles is a very transient city for sure. But I don’t blame the city as much as the people who come here from every other state thinking they’re going to be actors, singers, producers, etc. and then when they realize how difficult it is, they leave. It’s also a city that isn’t particularly internationally friendly (if I haven’t told my Washington Mutual story, I will at some point), but still houses tons of immigrants, particularly from Mexico. I don’t think those kinds of people tend to really care about sports anyway (Mexico does have a lot of soccer fans though and a lot of Dodgers fans but only because it’s really cheap to take your six kids to a baseball game). No one feels solidarity in this city with other Angelinos the way people in St. Louis do and can get behind the Rams for example.
And aren’t New Yorkers sort of more likely to be assholes anyway though…? Or at least they come off that way to people from other places. That might have more to do with where they come from and what’s acceptable there than the fact they like the Yankees.
Chaim the Groupie added
Nope, it’s the Yankees. Without those pinstriped little bastards, New York would be a happy, happy place 
Christine the Lioness spake, and sayeth
Funny… most people from New York have trouble understanding why people in other states find them rude… I guess it’s difficult to see the pins through the stripes… 
ProphetJoe the Irreverent spake, and sayeth
Christine… St. Louis is a baseball town. Sure, the Rams are there and we all enjoyed the Super Bowl victory back in — what was it, 1908??
St. Louis is, and will always be, the home of the mighty St. Louis Cardinals. Did I mention they are the World Champions?
Chicago is another great sports town. You have to admire baseball fans who can support their team as consistently through losing seasons as the Cubs fans do. Hell, my grandma was a little girl the last time the Cubs were the Champs, and she died in 1975! There are literally generations of people who have had season tickets to Wrigley Field who have never seen them win the title. Personally, I don’t think they’ll do it this year (the Cards are closing fast!), but I’ll be happy for the Cubs fans once they finally win a Series… really I will.
Mara the Peacemaker pontificated
Soccer players have nice legs
Christopher the Pyro penned this
Leave it to Mara to start dumbing things down..
ProphetJoe the Irreverent said this
We’re all just a piece of meat to her!
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