So for the past month or so Christine and I have been debating if her 3/4 Indian blood makes her a “real” life American Native Indian.
Granted her 1/8 German, 1/8 English, 2/8 Mutt really muddle her bloodline, however I thought I could and therefor should put this debate to rest once and for all. Two or three days ago on Thanksgiving Christine and I were kicking it and watching the History Channel where there was a documentary about the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Indian tribe. It turns out the the Wampanoag tribe is the same tribe that Christine’s bloodline came from. I quickly decided that Wampanoag was a horrible name and changed it to Walka Walka.. (as Christine pointed out.. very Starwarsish) like that is some kind of insult. So Christine is a Walka Walka Indian.. these Indian are pretty good ones.. I was always pretty sure she was a Cherokee or a wacko woman tribe… like Crazy Women Scalping Tribe. But it turns out she comes from a tribe of mostly nice sane Indians.
Even more interesting.. it turns out we killed off most fo the Walka Walka Indians here in America so for the last year she has been traveling to Canada to visit with her tribe under the guise of writing movies… ( Ya Christine I’m onto you now ).. that’s ok I go to Strip Clubs to hang out with my bouncer friends so I’m not too distraught over this deception. I think for your own sake Christine it would be best if you finally got comfortable with your Native American heritage.. it’s not the 18th century anymore, nobody is going to judge you harshly. You know what they say about Native American girls.. they are wild in bed, great cooks and little firecrackers ( those are all positives) which pretty much describes you to a T. Well except for the fact that your more like dynamite.. or Nitro Glycerin. Ayway nobody says anything bad about the Indians anymore… don’t be ashamed of your heritage.. embrace it Christine. I promise everybody will still like you.
‘Walka Walka’ sounds more Fozzie Bearish to me… I’d just like to say that if anyone has plans to kill off the beautiful squaw pictured above, I will volunteer to take her in, feed and clothe her… With an emphasis on clothing [...and unclothing] her…
On a side note, I believe I’ve dated many women of the Wacko tribe…
1/8 + 1/8 + 2/8 = 4/8 = 1/2
1/2 + 3/4 = 2/4 + 3/4 = 5/4.
Are you suggesting that Christine has 1/4 more “stuff” than the rest of us?
And, of course, the men want to know if that extra 1/4 is in the boobs or the caboose.
Thanks for pointing out my flawed math… however I am suggesting she does have 1/4 extra stuff.. it’s in the boobs FOR SURE however.. I always figured that extra 1/4 extra stuff.. accounted for why she is such a … “emotional” girl.
Funny… Christopher never thanks me for pointing out his flaws… Alright, so I hate to ruin Christopher’s little fantasy by setting the record straight (but that’s what I’m here for)… my dad’s side is German and Irish, my mom’s side is French and German, and there is a very little– very distant– mix of native American blood in there about five gens back. So despite the fact it’s not exotic enough, I am a white girl. And I’m surprised Christopher thinks the extra quarter is in my boobs since he keeps complaining that they’ve shrunk since I lost weight (they are now small Ds instead of popping out of my bra Ds). The boy is never happy.
As you can see her deceptive nature has not only gotten her kicked out of the United States but also relegated her to using IE 6.0
Just tell me who the picture is of
Christopher, I must reiterate that I live in Missouri, the “Show Me” state. If you make a claim (like Christine having an extra 1/4 of “stuff” in her bra), well, you gotta show me.
C’mon, man, cough up the pics.
(I mean, after all, I posted all those pictures of my wife for you on my blog: http://www.harshrealities.info/ben )
(Check out November 26th, in case you’re curious…)
Well Christine just got a new digi camera so maybe we will let me “borrow” it for a photo session… I think it even has a video feature… so stay tuned.
I still wanna know who the hot piece of Indian Ass that is????
that chick is soo hot i would wear moccasins and a feather in my hat while tapping it indian style!
Well I’m Native American too. I was born in the United States. The term Native American is insulting and laughable. Also the term Indian is wrong because it came from mistaken identity made by early Europeans. Go by the name of your tribe, that’s more correct.
Is that your pic? If so you are beautiful woman. Who cares what you are anyway?
I prefer Injun, but Christine stops putting out when I chase her around yelling stop you red injun.
LOL! I read on here there is another Ben, so I want people to know that is not me. I’ll just use Ben 2 from now on.
Please notice that the “Ben” a few comments up is not me, as my link and email address will attest.
I am a native American in that I was born on this continent and my family has been here since the 1600s. However, I also have 1/8 Cherokee coursing through my veins.
The name given to me by the tribal chief was “Earth Shaker”. I was born the morning after a major earthquake (three weeks late, by the by).
I let them know that already.
I think that girl is in Apocalypto… not sure though. I just got back from Missouri and it is very late, so I am physically unable to come up with any clever retorts. To be continued…
She is the girl from New World.
Christine: You were in Missouri and you didn’t visit me?! I’m insulted! Okay, I’m disappointed.
Next time, though, come over and meet the family.
Sorry, Ben. I wasn’t anywhere near St. Louis. I was actually in Kansas City and it was DAMN COLD!!!!
You’ll never hear me complain about 9 inches… unless we’re talking about snow and that’s exactly what was piled up in a slushy mess everywhere last weekend.
Vive Los Angeles! 
I should really be working, but this is amazing stuff.
Can’t wait for your next post. Do you have a newsletter to sign up to? Please let me know where I can find this