What a Nightmare!

Posted on December 22nd, 2005 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious, True Story.

Literally… what a nightmare. Last night, I had the scariest dream EVER. I?m not kidding when I say I?ve had maybe 4 dreams this scary my entire life…

At 4:38 am, my eyes popped open and I was frozen with fear. I couldn?t even move. I just lied there, the last horrific image of my dream blazoned into my memory like some twisted still photo from a horror movie. As reason returned, the first thing I did was pray to God and ask Him to clear my room of anything evil (I know, Christopher would make fun of me for doing that… but there was so much evil in that dream, I would have performed an exorcism if I?d known how ). I still couldn?t move. What should I do? I thought. Call Christopher and have him come over… Christopher once told me that if I was ever scared, I could call him. I?ve never cashed in on that?because I?m rarely too scared of anything. Even when Christopher brings over fucked up movies like SAW and then hides in the closet and jumps out at me as I come out of the bathroom, I get over it pretty quick. He knows I don?t get scared which is why he offered to let me call him if I ever am… Wait… I can?t call Christopher. He?s on a plane to the east coast right now. Breathe. Okay… you?re on your own, girl.

Then… I remember something I learned in LOST. When you?re scared, count to five, and then do whatever it is you need to do. Five seconds is enough time to waste on being scared. So I start to count. On five, I sit up and look at the clock. Almost morning. Good.

I decide the best thing to do, still unable to shake the willies, is to turn on every light in the whole apartment. So I do. Better.

Where did that dream come from? I think… Am I that sick and twisted that I could have made up something like that in my own head? Was some evil force trying to attack me as I slept? Was it the fish tacos I ate 9 hours before?

I am still so creeped out, I know I won?t be able to go back to sleep, so I start to think maybe I should write down notes about my dream to use in a movie. But the last thing I want to do is think about that nightmare, so I log onto chris vs. chris and start reading comments. By 5:00, the images of the nightmare have faded away to the recesses of my mind and I am responding to comments about tipping.

So there you have it… the moral of the story is…Chris vs. Chris does do some good in the world. Aside from spreading Christopher?s sexist, racist, and generally messed up view of the world, it helps you free your mind from macabre dreams… so it?s all good.

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