Let’s see now:
No beer, no bars, no radio, no television, no Playboy or Penthouse, no Teasers, no rugby, no football, no basketball, no baseball, no golf, no dancing, no music.
No bikinis on the beach, no nude beaches, no summer mini skirts and bra-less beauties.
No BBQ pork, no ham, no bacon, no hot-dogs, no burgers, no lobster, no shellfish or even frozen seafood sticks. No Christmas!
Everybody else in the world hates you, and every sane country’s army uses you for target practice.
Rags for clothes and dish towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next door because he’s sick and there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
You can’t shave. Your wife can’t shave. You can’t even shave your wife.
Sand is everywhere. Sand gets into everything. You wipe your backside with your left hand without toilet paper and if they catch you stealing they chop off your good hand and you have to eat with your shitty hand.
You can’t shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung. The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your camel, but your camel has a better disposition.
Then your leaders tell you that when you die, you get 27 virgins and it all gets better!
So… Nope… No mystery here!
I hate to nit pick… but after you’ve fucked the 27 virgins… they aren’t virgins anymore… and quite frankly, no one said they were attractive virgins… of course you’d never know because you aren’t allowed to see them. And isn’t sort of hard to fuck when your teensy weensy shrivel dick has been blown off by the bomb that was strapped to your chest? Just trouble shooting…
It’s 72 virgins if I am not wrong
Not if you’re dyslexic like Christopher.
It should also be mentioned they only get those 72 virgins if they kill an infidel (which they believe is all of us) when they die ..
And your trouble shooting would do some good, if they actually had fore-sight into such things! :d
They’re obviously not aware that we’re not all infidels… which is good for you, because if they knew the truth, you’d be much more of a target.
I just had a good idea. We should play a joke on them and make them believe that the US has converted to Islam. Like write up a fake constitution saying there’s no more freedom of religion and everything and take some pictures of people trying on burkes and stuff. Maybe they’d chill for a while then.
Oops… sorry, Christopher. You are not my Christopher (I have just been informed by my christopher that you are an imposter… I should have known… you spelled infidel correctly.
)
Hahaha, I just wasn’t thinking when I put in my name .. Spelling isn’t one of my strong suits either .. but I try! :d
I might just have to stick around and add another Christopher to the mix
i understand all of these things would drive me to suicide to thank god I’m an American. If they want some help I’ll be more than happy to lend an hand and kill a whol ebunch of them off if they just show their faces to me
anyone see the south park about this. MRS. Garrison is explaining why they attacked us. 1. no sex 2. no masturbation and 3. sand in everything and like chaffing your ass… it was good and i`m not positive on that list but it was along those lines
Damn. Missed that one. I’ll bet it was hilarious.