Why Islamic Terrorist are Cool with Suicide

Posted on September 10th, 2006 by Christopher.
Categories: Hilarious.

Let’s see now:

No beer, no bars, no radio, no television, no Playboy or Penthouse, no Teasers, no rugby, no football, no basketball, no baseball, no golf, no dancing, no music.

No bikinis on the beach, no nude beaches, no summer mini skirts and bra-less beauties.

No BBQ pork, no ham, no bacon, no hot-dogs, no burgers, no lobster, no shellfish or even frozen seafood sticks. No Christmas!

Everybody else in the world hates you, and every sane country’s army uses you for target practice.

Rags for clothes and dish towels for hats.

Constant wailing from the guy next door because he’s sick and there are no doctors. Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.

You can’t shave. Your wife can’t shave. You can’t even shave your wife.

Sand is everywhere. Sand gets into everything. You wipe your backside with your left hand without toilet paper and if they catch you stealing they chop off your good hand and you have to eat with your shitty hand.

You can’t shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung. The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.

Your bride is picked by someone else. She smells just like your camel, but your camel has a better disposition.

Then your leaders tell you that when you die, you get 27 virgins and it all gets better!

So… Nope… No mystery here!

11 comments.

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Christine the Lioness penned this

I hate to nit pick… but after you’ve fucked the 27 virgins… they aren’t virgins anymore… and quite frankly, no one said they were attractive virgins… of course you’d never know because you aren’t allowed to see them. And isn’t sort of hard to fuck when your teensy weensy shrivel dick has been blown off by the bomb that was strapped to your chest? Just trouble shooting…

September 10th, 2006

aJ the Zen Master scribbled

It’s 72 virgins if I am not wrong )

September 11th, 2006

Christine the Lioness penned this

Not if you’re dyslexic like Christopher. -)

September 11th, 2006

Christopher the Pyro pontificated

It should also be mentioned they only get those 72 virgins if they kill an infidel (which they believe is all of us) when they die ..

And your trouble shooting would do some good, if they actually had fore-sight into such things! d

September 12th, 2006

Christine the Lioness commented

They’re obviously not aware that we’re not all infidels… which is good for you, because if they knew the truth, you’d be much more of a target.

September 13th, 2006

Christine the Lioness mentioned

I just had a good idea. We should play a joke on them and make them believe that the US has converted to Islam. Like write up a fake constitution saying there’s no more freedom of religion and everything and take some pictures of people trying on burkes and stuff. Maybe they’d chill for a while then. -)

September 13th, 2006

Christine the Lioness up'n wrote this

Oops… sorry, Christopher. You are not my Christopher (I have just been informed by my christopher that you are an imposter… I should have known… you spelled infidel correctly. -) )

September 13th, 2006

The Other Christopher the Virgin asserted

Hahaha, I just wasn’t thinking when I put in my name .. Spelling isn’t one of my strong suits either .. but I try! d

I might just have to stick around and add another Christopher to the mix )

September 14th, 2006

Keith the Director added

i understand all of these things would drive me to suicide to thank god I’m an American. If they want some help I’ll be more than happy to lend an hand and kill a whol ebunch of them off if they just show their faces to me )

September 19th, 2006

kyle the Groupie up'n wrote this

anyone see the south park about this. MRS. Garrison is explaining why they attacked us. 1. no sex 2. no masturbation and 3. sand in everything and like chaffing your ass… it was good and i`m not positive on that list but it was along those lines

October 14th, 2006

Christine the Lioness commented

Damn. Missed that one. I’ll bet it was hilarious.

October 14th, 2006

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