It goes both ways. He just said something to you that, no matter how hard you try to figure out, makes absolutely no sense at all. You give him a blank stare, wondering if he missed some key words in his explanation. He looks at you like he’s just said the most obvious thing in the world… and so it goes… Dr. John Gray scurries off to write another book, the producers of Dr. Phil develop more show topics, and women and men all over the world just shake their heads, wondering if they’ll ever understand the opposite sex.
I’ll make it easy on you… NO. You will never understand them– not because they’re crazy or you’re stupid, but because despite the obvious anatomical differences between men and women, they also have very different brains. And it all started a few days after your dad banged your mom.
Let’s review what we learned in 7th grade Sex Ed… Everyone has either an XX chromosome combination, or an XY combination. If you’re female, you have XX. If you’re male, you have XY. Your gender was actually determined by your father… all eggs are X, and sperm are either X or Y. The X given to you by your father, is what tells your sex body to develop female sex organs. The Y tells your body to develop testes. But that’s not all… within about 5 days of finding the magic combination, very different hormones begin to influence the development of your brain. Very soon after conception, the fetus develops either a “female brain” or a “male brain” because it is being influenced by “female hormones” or “male hormones.”
So the male brain, according to an article written by Doreen Kimura in Psychology Today, is better at completing “certain spatial tasks, especially those requiring accurate orientation of a line or pattern, imaginal rotation, or discerning a figure embedded in a background pattern.” She goes on to say that men are typically better at mathematical reasoning than women. Keep in mind that training and education can overcome these differences– a woman trained as a mathmetician could easily excel just like her male counterparts– but studies have shown that boys are predisposed to be better at these things. Even studies done comparing male and female monkeys have shown that male monkeys accomplish tasks relating to spatial evaluation, more quickly and accurately than female monkeys.
The female brain excels over the male brain at certain verbal tasks– particularly verbal fluency and articulation. It also tends to be better than the male brain at fine manual skills (is this why women typically have better handwriting than men?), and faster at scanning a perceptual array to match two identical images. Here’s where it gets more interesting… studies on women have shown that the female brain becomes “more female” at times when a woman’s monthly cycle causes more “female” hormones to be secreted. During pre-menstruation (when the female hormones are highest in a woman’s body) women actually perform more poorly at “male brain” tasks than they do at times of the month when they are not secreting as many “female hormones.” So the secretion of hormones not only affects the brain during it’s prenatal development, but continues to affect it during the course of one’s life. Likewise, male rats who were castrated (stopping the secretion of male hormones), began to approach problems (getting through a maze) in a way that was more characteristic of the “female brain.”
It’s all biological. We really do think differently. We’re not crazy. And recognizing that your counterpart approaches communication and problem-solving differently than you do, is the beginning of really understanding where he/she is coming from.
So… the next time you’re standing there… trying to figure out why the hell you can’t communicate with your boyfriend or girlfriend… keep in mind it has everything to do with his/her brain and a simple X or Y chromosome that came from his/her father. It’s all the father’s fault really… which makes sense, because men are usually the ones to blame when something goes wrong anyway… right???