Wunny Funce

Posted on August 29th, 2007 by Christine.
Categories: Hilarious.

What is Wunny Funce? If you’ve never heard of it… I’m not surprised. You may, yourself, may be in a Wunny Funce relationship with a friend, a mate, a coworker, a sibling… and yet, call it by a different name. For others, the concept of Wunny Funce may be completely foreign… and if that’s the case, it can either be a very good thing… or a very bad one…

Okay, I’ve built this shit up enough. I’ll get to the point.

I first heard about Wunny Funce when I was in college. I don’t quite remember who introduced me to it… I think it was one of my roommates sophomore year. I remember we were with a group of people, having fun, telling jokes, laughing. One of the guys in the group made a weird face– a physical joke of sorts– that everyone laughed at. I’m sure you’d all find the face funny if I could remember what it was and describe it, but I can’t… and it’s not important anyway. What IS important is… this particular person who made the face in which everyone laughed, wasn’t a person who often gets laughs from his jokes or expressions. He was the kind of person that, although we all liked him, usually was the one in the group whose jokes bombed.

Anyway… on this particular evening, the face he made was funny. The rest of us laughed it and moved on. But the face-maker (we’ll call him “Joey”) didn’t move on. Ascending to a high he’d never felt before– experiencing the kind of afterglow that can only be achieved by a universal laugh at your timely wit– he’d had a taste of being the revered center of attention for a moment… and LIKED IT. Joey’s moment in the spotlight should have been something Joey savored for years to come… remembering the time he made everyone laugh… pulling it from his repertoire at low points in his life to help repair his self-esteem. That would’ve been great. But that’s not what Joey did. Joey, feeling like he was on a roll with the weird faces, decided to wait a little while and then make the same weird face again. Except this time, the moment had passed and the face wasn’t as funny. A few people were generous enough to chime in with obligatory laughs (also known as pity laughs). Joey didn’t understand. How could his funny face elicit such a warm response the first time and not the second? He was utterly confused. About twenty minutes later, he made a point of making the face again… this time, not only did no one laugh, but people were a bit annoyed by it.

After the third attempt, my roommate looked at Joey, winked, and said “Wunny Funce.” Joey nodded. Not everyone had heard it, but I did. I leaned over to her and asked “What’s wunny funce?”

“It’s code for “Funny Once,” she said. Joey realized he shouldn’t try that joke again. And he didn’t… which was better for all involved.

I had no idea that Joey and my roommate were in a wunny funce relationship. I wanted to be in a wunny funce relationship with someone… I wanted to have that kind of trust that someone was watching my back and making sure I didn’t make a fool of myself in social settings. I wanted to speak in code.

The world would be a better place if everyone were in wunny funce relationships with other people. People wouldn’t look stupid as much… other people would be generally less annoyed. They’d all want to hang out more with each other… it’d really be a good thing.

So… here’s today’s gift to the world. From me to you…

These are the Wunny Funce codes:

“Wunny Funce” - That was funny once. Now, it’s just stupid. Please don’t do/say it again.

“Gressy Minn” - code for “Messy Grin” or… you have something stuck in your teeth that everyone can see except you. Try not to smile so wide until you have a chance to go to the bathroom and dig it out.

“Ill Chout” - obviously code for “Chill out” or… you’re kind of making a big deal about something and it’s making everyone else uncomfortable so you’d be better off letting that go…

“Oaf Doffer” - Don’t offer or… I see you’re about to pull your wallet/keys/etc. out and offer to pay/drive/etc… but don’t. I know this person better than you do and you’ll wish you hadn’t.

Feel free to add your own… after all, this is not a one-sided relationship, ya know…

9 comments.

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ProphetJoe the Irreverent commented

Wunny Funce — man, I read the title and assumed it was another Christopher typo!

JUST KIDDING, ‘topher!

August 29th, 2007

Trouble the Pirate penned this

This could take up an entire episode of Will & Grace… Fu(king Deeps… I’m outta here… )

August 29th, 2007

Christine the Lioness mentioned

Bright side… at least there’s no motherfuckin’ deeps on the motherfuckin’ plane. Now THAT woulda scared the shit outta people.

August 29th, 2007

Christopher the Pyro quibbed this

U guys suck.

Don’t let Christine convince u that this is the type of relationship she wants, last night I was trying to warn her about her ear wax.. and asked her to let me remove it… she refused…. she sucks.

August 29th, 2007

Christine the Lioness pontificated

ROFL!

That’s not quite how it went. Here’s what happened…

We were sitting in a booth at the restaurant and I was writing down notes in my notebook about a project we were discussing when Christopher decides to come around the table and sit next to me so he can molest me. He kisses my neck and then says… “You have wax in your ear.”

Me: Really?

I delicately touch my ear, trying to get it out.

Christopher: It’s really far in there. Want me to get it.

Me: No, that’s okay… I’ll get it out later.

Christopher: I can get it for you.

Me: Seriously. It’s all good.

Christopher: Just let me get it.

Me: Okay… fine.

He reaches for MY PEN. I clamp my palm to my ear.

Me: Oh hell no!

Christopher: You don’t trust me?

Me: To stick a pen in my ear? No. I don’t.

Christopher: You suck. I wouldn’t hurt you. (keep in mind he said that back when he was trying to convince me to let him use a hot needle to burn a hole in my toenail when it got all blue after something fell on it once… and that experience fucking sucked for me)

Me: You wouldn’t try to hurt me… but you hurt me a lot without trying to… (and that’s true. Christopher isn’t clutzy or anything, but he’s got a lot of strength and a lot of times isn’t real careful about where he’s swinging his elbow or if he’s stepping on my heel, or whatever. I just didn’t see a delicate operation happening with his thick fingers and a ballpoint pen).

Christopher: You don’t really want a wunny funce relationship. I’m trying to help you.

I laugh and give him a hug. I gotta give him props for trying… but I think we were all better off that I used a q-tip when I got home to get the wax out.

August 29th, 2007

ProphetJoe the Irreverent said this

You wouldn’t try to hurt me… but you hurt me a lot without trying to…

“Oh, Christopher — it’s SOOOOO Big!”

August 30th, 2007

ProphetJoe the Irreverent hunt n' pecked this

Ok, all of the “code” seems to be a simple transposition except this one:

Oaf Doffer” - Don’t offer doesn’t really follow the same rule… why? Is this just an exception… or did some fu(king deep think this one up?

August 30th, 2007

Christine the Lioness thought this

Well… at that point on the list, people can figure out that, yes, the codes is just a simple transposition which makes it somewhat ineffective at being “code” anymore. Had to mix things up.

August 30th, 2007

ProphetJoe the Irreverent pontificated

s.o.r.r.y. — I wasn’t calling you a dweeb… $

August 30th, 2007

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