You Know It’s October When…

Posted on October 1st, 2007 by Christine.
Categories: Current Events & Politics.

1. Starbucks begins to advertise their pumpkin spice lattes as their “special” drink.

2. The weird old lady in front of you in the checkout line is waiting to buy a Halloween costume for her dog.

3. The spider webs that are stretching across the plants on your balcony seem sort of “festive.”

4. Every television channel is playing a different sequel to “Friday the 13th” at the same time.

5. You start getting random thoughts about the “Great Pumpkin” rising up out of the pumpkin patch and pray to God that Linus doesn’t convince Lucy to waste her entire evening again this year.

6. Stores start filling their “seasonal” aisles with trick-or-treat candy AND Christmas stuff.

7. You wake up in the middle of the night finding yourself craving Hirschbrau Doppel Hirsch, bratwurst, and spaetzle.

8. Seeing a smashed pumpkin on the street brings back hostile feelings from your childhood.

9. Caramel apples seem worth the risk of having to replace that $2,000 crown on your back molar.

10. “Goth” kids seem sort of fashionable.

11. The price of a $3 pumpkin skyrockets to $35.

12. Silly Halloween stuff like this starts floating around the internet again.

13. Non-superstitious people start leaving the number 13 off their lists.

14. That creepy guy who lives across the street that you sometimes catch watching you from his window as you walk to your car begins to leave you odd little gifts and newspaper clippings about random news articles that don’t seem to connect with one another. And then somehow gets your cell phone number and calls you to tell you that he thinks it’s cool you have a black cat because Halloween is coming up, but that you shouldn’t expect the black cat to protect you from evil spirits. And then he tells you to be careful because people can break into apartments so easily and you never know when it’s going to happen.

15. You’re in the middle of writing a blog post and

12 comments.

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ProphetJoe the Irreverent spake, and sayeth

You know it’s October when Christine starts these kinds of posts )

Actually, the local Wally World has had Halloween/Christmas item in the seasonal isles for almost 5 weeks now. Once “Back to School” was finished in August, the team logo sweatshirts, pencils and notebooks quickly gave way to scary costumes, and candy canes. *sigh*

When I was a kid, Christmas started about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving… fuggin marketing types are ruining everything! 8)

October 2nd, 2007

ProphetJoe the Irreverent uttered

* that was supposed to be “aisles”, not “isles”… just think of it as an homage to my pirate friend in the caymans 8)

[

October 2nd, 2007

Mara the Peacemaker stated

I cannot believe October is upon us. I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing I was supposed to since June….

October 2nd, 2007

Christopher the Pyro stated

It’s October and Christine has has 800+ more comments on this blog.. and she even took like 4 months off once… now that is screwed up.

October 2nd, 2007

Raven the Groupie said this

You know It’s October when you walk into the grocery store and these teenagers are hanging outside bugging you to donate money to them. And if you don’t they will hurt you. And then they follow you. I suppose there are some wierd High-Schoolers around here. LOL

October 2nd, 2007

ProphetJoe the Irreverent remarked

“I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing I was supposed to since June….
”

Well, your comments have dropped off considerably, but I suppose that’s what you meant )

October 3rd, 2007

Mara the Peacemaker uttered

Of course I was referring to my decreased participation on this site o )

October 3rd, 2007

Trouble the Pirate up'n wrote this

PJ… Welcome to consumerism… And “caymans” has a capital ‘C’ beotch… 8)

Miss Christine, when I started reading I thought you cut & pasted some generic list, but then I got to #14 and it just smacked of ‘extremely personal experience’… So I’ll assume it’s original and say ‘good job!’

Save your $2000 crown, have Trouble’s Caramel Apple Martini instead:

2 oz sour apple schnapps
1 oz butterscotch schnapps
1 oz Stolichnaya gold vodka

Combine all ingredients over crushed ice, shake the hell out of it, gently pour onto {Cleavage/bellybutton/genitals} of person of choice… (d)

October 4th, 2007

Christine the Lioness up'n wrote this

Trouble… I’ve NEVER cut and pasted a generic list (unlike a few people I know)… But I’m glad it took you this long to realize that…

I’m disappointed that your caramel apple martini doesn’t have some cool garnish teetering on the side of the glass… a slice of caramel apple maybe? A caramel flavored rice cake?

Even the emoticon martini has a lime and it isn’t even real.

October 4th, 2007

ProphetJoe the Irreverent scribbled

For crying out loud, Christine… the man said pour it over cleavage or genitals — your nipples (or perhaps ‘topher’s testicles) are supposed to be the “cool garnish” — can’t you get into the spirit of the season?? October is for Oktoberfest, Halloween and carmel martini sex! (d)

That’s the point — it’s not time for turkeys and candy canes just yet!!! I blame Trouble and his parrot for all of this f**king consumerism.

[

October 4th, 2007

Trouble the Pirate added

Well, see Christine… At least PJ gets the ‘garnish’ part… It’s actually the only acceptable way for a straight man to drink one of those “flavoured/colourful/California-type” martinis…
My Martini you ask? Why, 3 oz Smirnoff Vodka, shake vigorously with ice, recall a distant memory of a shitty liquor called Vermouth, cast it back into the far recesses of your mind, pour and drink whilst ogling the barmaids ample cleavage and attempting to look suave…

…And PJ, not that I’m taking your comment seriously or anything, but I’m the worst example of a consumer you could find, I don’t even wear a watch, my car is older than my girlfriend and my favorite cock-ring is a rubber-band I pilfered from the stationary closet at work… Hell! My three kids are proof that I won’t even shell-out the 50 cents for gas-station condoms… How can you blame me for consumerism? My parrot maybe… He does like that fancy-schmancy bird-seed that costs $12.95 per lb. and his peg-leg is zebra-wood with platinum inlays… But not me… I’m easy… Perhaps you’re referring to all the STD medication and therapy my ex-girlfriends have to pay for?

October 5th, 2007

ProphetJoe the Irreverent got all philosophical

ROTL

Trouble and CvC make coming back to work almost tolerable today 8)

October 8th, 2007

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