So Christopher has been doing some really cool upgrades to CvC and one of the things he did was add this little “Users Online” page where if you click on it, it shows you how many registered users are online, how many guests are on, and how many “Bots” are on. When I first saw it, I thought Hunh. Bot. That sounds like it might be short for “Robot” but why would a robot be hanging out on a battle of the sexes site when everyone knows that robots are gender-neutral and would probably never get any of the humor…? So I called Christopher…
Christopher: Yo, amiga… what’s up? (He has caller ID)
Christine: I’m on the site and I was wondering what a “Bot” is…
Christopher: It’s a robot. Search engines like yahoo and google use robots to crawl our site and check for new content.
Christine: That’s what you meant when you said they “spider” the site?
Christopher: Yeah… it crawls the site every three hours.
Long pause as I look down at the goosebumps popping up on my arms.
Christine: It crawls?
Christopher: That bothers you, doesn’t it? You don’t like the thought of googlebots crawling.
Christine: Not on our site I don’t. It’s kinda creepy.
Christopher: Well what did you think a “bot” was?
Christine: I was sort of hoping it was a person employed by google or yahoo or whatever… and they get paid to search pages of our site… and they just call themselves “bots.” Like maybe it was an acronym or something.
Christopher: Seriously… what is it with you and robots?
Christine: It’s not robots… it’s robots that look like spiders. Like in that movie.
Christopher: The Island?
Christine: No… Mission Impossible.
Christopher: God, Tom Cruise is such a scientolofag. I just made up a word. What was that other word I made up the other day? Something about asians? Remember?
Christine: There are three things crawling on our site right now. Two are from google and one’s from msn.
Christopher: Christine. Listen to me. I know how you feel about spiders, but it’s a good thing. (he exhales really loud) But if you don’t want to know it’s happening, I can take that part off and then you won’t have to know when the bots are spidering the site.
I sigh and decide if I take him up on this, he’d actually be able to legitimately get away with calling me a pussy forever. I mean, after all… I’ve seen that “Bot Wars” show where guys make homemade robots and then they battle it out… and quite frankly, I could just stomp on one of those with my feet and destroy it so the googlebots and spider bots and whatever other malaise-causing name they want to go by can’t really be that menacing.
Christine: No… it’s fine. They can stay on there.
Christopher: Alright, princess. Whatever makes you happy.
I still don’t like them though. In my head, they look like this:
I can just imagine them climbing all over my face on the page with my pictures on it… it’s just creepy and a bit alarming… and I really wish google and yahoo and msn and all these other search engines would come up with a better way. Seriously, I’m going to have to write someone an email about this.
Dude! That does not help.
Even with a affable face, it doesn’t begin to compensate for those creepy-ass pointy legs with the weird joints and how they all stretch forward in some sort of weird choreography… I really really really really really really hate them. 
Ooh creepy.. But look at the face! It sure looked funny!
) Christine, just think of it as a blown-up pic or a microscope view of a queen (or king) ANT 
>-
I’m with you on this one christine as far as real spiders go this is what a bite from brown recluse spider can do to you…
it’s fucking nasty… and spiders are everywhere, but christine really “bots” grow some backbone
feelings mutal
thats day 10 after the initial bite! 
I seriously think that has to be a photoshop image.. but I guess it’s possible.. not as bad as what would happen if you were bit by a shark.. but hey.
Actually chris if you want…no nevermind i will email you the pics It shows progression from day 3 – day 10…ppl can actually die from recluse bites! they are the most danger spider in the state of PA…, and ranks in the top 3 behind the black widow and teranchilla I think…i fucking hate spiders!
Actually I misquoted the fact…the brown recluse is THE most dangerous spider in the U.S.A!
listen bro, those brown recluse spiders are terrible in pa, i know a few guys that have been bitten by them, it leaves a giant hole in your flesh, now i never saw those guys’ wounds look as bad as the pic keith showed but it does get nasty:-s
How does it leave a giant hole? Like the poison actually eats your flesh or something? :-&
I don’t know what kind of spiders they have in Washington state, but my aunt and uncle live up there in the middle of nowhere and every night they stuff towels under the cracks in their doors. When I went up to visit a few summers ago, I asked why they do that… and they said it’s to keep the spiders out. I guess there’s a kind up there that’s pretty bad too.
That picture’s prett gross though… it looks like they wrapped thread around his hand to keep it together… but that seems a little half-assed Boy Scout first-aidish if you ask me.
Photoshop or not… that’s nasty.
It leaves a hole, b/c of the toxins in the bite kill the living tissue surrounding the infected area… yeah I 2 noticed the half-assed attempt at what seemed at home stitching kit 101. His boy scout troop will be very disappointed…no first aid patch for him =)) On a realistic note as well, I’m having my doubts about the authenticity of those photosI have witnessed after chris sent me a link to the university of kentucky. It showed pics that drastically differed from the ones I saw and posted. It leaves a deep hole in the hand or bitten area, buut noes not eat away so far from the actual bite it selfif you are so inclined and would like to see for yourself here’s the link…
http://www.uky.edu/Ag/Entomology/entfacts/struct/ef631.htm see for yourself!
Christine: It was not Mission Impossible but Minority Report which had the spider bots!
And Keith that is nasty. I hate spiders as well. They are so disgustingly creepy :-s
Seems there are mnore people here afraidof spiders than sharks…the ironyin that is the fact we are all capable of stomping and killing any spider?
?
Of course you can stomp and kill a spider *if* you see it… I doubt all those people who got bit were sitting there like dumbnuts watching spiders crawl on them. The point is… most people who get bit by spiders *don’t* know that the spider (because it is small, and quiet, and hard to feel until it bites you) is on them. It’s easier to see a 6 ton shark with a two-foot dorsal fin than a spider that weighs about 4 grams. Sure, spiders don’t do quite as much damage as sharks can… but people feel more comfortable in general, warding off predators that they can see and are inherently more scared of things they can’t see because we don’t like the idea of being taken by surprise and having no control at all.
And thanks aJ… you’re right. Minority Report… not MI.
Wow christine thanx for the enlightening comment on the(obvious) facts about spider bites. I have a hard time believeing anyone would allow themselve to get bitten by anything they can see and stop.
Well… I was just explaining why there’s so much “irony” in the fact we are scared of spiders but yet we can stomp on them and kill them. It’s not really ironic at all considering that we can control whether we come into contact with sharks, but can’t really control if we come into contact with spiders. It has nothing to dow ith the ability to stomp on them.
haha yeah I re-read your post and saw some of the irony in which you speak
I do agree with you as a matter of fact!
I like bots… its always a pleasure to hv them dropping in to ur site
About Spiders… well I dont mind them… they are creepy but amazing creatures… I wont hv a pet spider but I wont squish one either :d
Fusk spiders..I step on every one I see! >:p Nasty things!
dat shit sooooooooooooooooooooooooo nasty…….gotdamn u retarted
THAT PICTURE UP THERE IS SOOOOOOOOOO NASTY. YOU NEED TO COVER THET UP OKKKKK!\:d/\:d/
hey you wanna date all you have to is get that fixed:”>:”>:-?[-(:)>-
WTF was all this?
LOL! Kids, tsk tsk tsk
)
yeah would have to be..and probably the same one by the looks of 2 f the commentrs similarities!
Even though I hate spiders I just can never get to kill one, or any living creature for that matter. No I’m not associated with Peta but I just don’t like ending lives like that
aJ… India.. Hindu.. right?… like won’t you come back as a spider if you kill one.
Nope it doesnt work like that #-o. Its just considered a sin to kill any animal [-x. I agree with Aj on that its not fair to kill something just coz it looks scary :-t
What’s the policy on killing blue jays for fun???
So I guess your pretty opposed to hunting and poaching?
So aJ… are you vegetarian?
#29 – No I’m not a Hindu but another “religion” called Jainism 8-| But then I’m an atheist and for sure do not believe in crap like rebirth, heaven, hell blah blah
#31 – That imo is a crime
. No I did not support it in that post nor will I ever.
#32 – Yes very. Imo (strictly mine), the only time killing might be justified would be in defence and even there, only as a last resort.
#33 – Yes, a lacto-vegetarian. No eggs even. Only milk and milk products..